MY WHY

When I miscarried, I felt like the breath was dragged from my lungs, I felt so heavy with sadness, but didn’t know how to move forward. I felt so alone. As I researched I quickly realized that there were so many other woman in the world at the same time as me, or previously, or soon going to be feeling this same heaviness and sorrow. But why was no one talking about it? Why did it feel taboo?

When you miscarry it feels like you almost join this secret club of woman that have lost a baby, or multiple babies. It’s this secret club of sadness and grief that you don’t want to be in, and you don’t even know who else is in it because it’s taboo to speak of. But everyone feels alone even though they’re not, it just sucks. 

You’re meant to just carry on, “At least it was early” people say in the hope of comforting you! But it hurts, and it doesn’t feel early when you already pictured what your future was going to look like. But we carry on day after day while the rest of the world doesn’t know you’re in this club, but you’re in it, and it’s heavy. 

One day I was sick of feeling alone in this club I didn’t want to be in, even though I knew I wasn’t, I felt alone. So as I searched online for something to comfort me, I struggled to find anything that filled this void. So decided I’d make this club, for the women who don’t want to be in this club, but are. I’m so sorry you’re here. But I see you, I hear you, you’re not alone.

So here I am, wishing I wasn’t in this club… but making sure this is a club that’s full of SO much love.

-Jade